Last fall, I think it was Oktober, I decided to do this for a month long.
After a couple of weeks I kind of forgot I set this intention back then. And I also lost the active part of thinking about this daily a couple of weeks after I started doing it.
But, looking back I did do it. And unconsciously I’m still doing it! (maybe not exactly every day of the week, but I am consistently doing it every week.) Professionally with everything connected to organising a summit. Reaching out to people today that I felt scared to reach out to a month ago. Signing people as speakers for my summit that I admire. People that I would probably be totally start struck with if I have met them in person. Not knowing what to say, how to feel confident enough to start a conversation.
But as the summit organiser I don’t not have that choice. To hide behind my shyness, to hide behind my fears. Because if I do, no summit to show for 😉
Some weeks or days however I do fall back into that habit, into the fear of being seen by the world. Being seen by others.
I am good at hiding, behoving the observer and not interfere. To not stand out.
Because it feels safer to match the group vibe it feels saver to match expectations from outside. It's much harder for us humans to step outside the comfort zone, to step outside into the unknown.
It is our survival mechanism to feel the need to be accepted by the people around us.
We need others to survive! First as a child we need them to give us food, warmth and shelter.
And after on in life we heal in the presence of others, we bloom via the love of others. We find purpose, safety and connection in togetherness.
But ask yourself, are you holding back the real you? Are you making yourself small in order to fit in? Are you afraid to be seen by the world? I know I am, big time! I find it so fucking scary to be seen by others. To be seen for real, not just a pretty smile but being seen for my knowledge my dept and my inner world.
This has been such a big theme in the coaching work I have done for myself in the last 2,5 years. Feeling safe and accepted enough to being seen by the world. And today I suddenly realised how all that work on inner safety, inner power and overcoming fears is coming together again on another level!
Because even though I am interviewing others, in the process of doing so I will also be seen by people who have never seen me before. My words will also reach an audience bigger than I have ever experienced before.
I feel I’m ready, and not at all on other days. But anyhow I am determent to make it work, for me, for the expert that support me and for all who will be watching!
But it didn’t start with organising a summit, it didn’t start 2,5 years ago when I was first coached on this, it already started 4,5 years ago. When I decided that it was time for me. That it was time for me to build my confidence, my self love.
It was time for me to heal the heart-pain and abandonment issues that I experienced in relationship. That I deserved to feel more happy, to feel loved for who I was instead of walking around feeling grey most of the time.
Deciding that it was time for me was the first step.
And since then I just took mini steps in expanding my comfort zone in every direction of life.
Mini steps, every day, every week.
And one day, those steps have created a big time jump. And suddenly you realise: you have changed as a person and have grown into someone that you would have looked up to before!
Are you ready to take the next step and create your best life were you feel fulfilled, free and full of pleasure? Contact me for a free chat if you want to know more!
